getting a laugh out of ITSM

[The Skeptic]

It is not often we derive amusement from ITSM, but readers might get a laugh (and a few alternate ideas) from the Real ITSM website and book.

Real ITSM is a Body of Knowledge (BOK). This means Real ITSM collects together all the ideas, good and bad, new and old, as a compendium of knowledge for ITSM practitioners.

Real ITSM is a framework for implementation, which means it represents proven and generally accepted Real ITSM practices.

Real ITSM represents the leading edge in Real ITSM thinking, providing thought leadership to the industry and ensuring that it will remain fresh for years to come.

The fact that there is a fundamental contradiction between these three statements has not escaped us, but it doesn’t seem to trouble ITIL so we won’t let it distract us either.

Unlike ITIL, which uses the word “process” with a cavalier disregard for any generally accepted definition of the word, Real ITSM prefers to refer to “activities”. We do this partly because it is a better-suited word and partly to keep the OGC lawyers at bay. This does mean that the “four Ps” doesn’t work any more (People Processes Products Partners), so Real ITSM uses the alternate model of Wetware Activities Stuff and Parasites which is just as mnemonic.

Real ITSM activities are carried on in all Deathcycle phases independent of services. It is, like, just a model, you know. Real activities carry on regardless.

RITSI [the Real IT Service Institute] understands the beneficial symbiosis between an industry and its analysts. The more analysts invest in understanding something, the more interested they are in promoting it to ensure future return on their investment by selling that expertise.

Therefore the ParasITSM program provides support for analysts, such as:
• Crash introductions to Real ITSM, usually over lunch, known as “Talk the Talk”
• References customers representative of the happy customer base
• Recognised industry experts available for interview
• Boilerplate text for white papers, guaranteed unique and untraceable
• List of vendors willing to be reviewed, and a table of recommended charges
• Keynote slots at all conferences