Dealing with An IT Bully

[JMaguire]

They’re difficult, nasty and aggressive. But there are tactics that help tame these tech-world bad geeks -- sometimes.

Here's the article:

http://itmanagement.earthweb.com/car...le.php/3740601

How do you deal with those IT bullies?

[ua549]

I usually set a trap for them through extensive problem documentation that I revealed only after the bully was way out on a limb or had publicly lied about a situation. That tack wasn't always successful, but I was typically a non-employee managing IT or Network consultant with the ability to walk away from a situation without damage.

[ktappe]

It occurs to me that this was not specifically an "IT" bully you were dealing with but just a plain old bully. He used tactics (read: slime) that could be found on Wall Street, Madison Ave., or anywhere else where backbiting is seen as getting one ahead in life. But he wasn't the real problem, the CIO was. Good managers see B.S. like this and nip it in the bud, whereas your CIO was too lazy to do his job even when specifically requested by you to do it. There will always be sh*ts out there; it's human nature. But employers who want true productivity (out of a sense of fairness or out of sheer greed) will stop and/or dismiss bullies in the interest of promoting teamwork.

Also, it should have been apparent from the "You're an idiot" outset that none of your three tactics would work. Anyone who uses such a line to start a meeting obviously has no interest in being placated; they have already decided they have the upper hand and can get away with such deprecation. And if they think they have that type of position, they are not going to surrender it easily. You have to fight them tooth and nail--be just as nasty, in both language and action, for that is all they understand. Tell such a person, for example, that if he can shut his phone off at 5PM each Friday, you can shut yours off at 5PM each and every day, and to hell with his team's needs. If he doesn't like it, he can take it to the CIO, for all the good it'd do him as the CIO obviously doesn't get involved in such issues. What's good for the goose is good for the gander; it's a lesson that most of us learn in 3rd grade but this person apparently needed a refresher.

In short, fight. If you need to leave the company, you can go out with a whimper or you can go down fighting. Which will leave you more satisfied? Considering that you wrote the column at all suggests the event(s) have stuck in your craw, so I suspect you did not find the outcome satisfying or you'd have left it behind. As you have probably already inferred, I've been the victim of bullies many times in my past. I look back with regret on the times I caved in and with satisfaction on the times I fought. Regret is a bitter pill to keep swallowing over and over. Always put up a fight--it's worth it.

[Erol]

I also had the unfortunate circumstance of dealing with an IT bully. He was another developer that had been given the "supervisor" position (goodness, they still use the term supervisor to refer to a position?) prior to my coming in.

He was very incompetent - has been working for more than a year on a project with a very simple problem domain - but still had this notion of "being God’s gift to information technology and are the ultimate authority on any IT topic." and would not hesitate to cuss other employees behind their backs on what he perceives as their incompetence.

I eventually left the company - tendering an immediate and irrevocable resignation - and I've heard that the one they hired to replace me also did the same in just one month's time.

[philaman01]

If you are being bullied in an IT shop, the very first time things happens, what you must say to the bully is "please do not use that tone with me again" or "please address me in the same tone you wish to be addressed".

If this method does not work, take it up to HR as most companies have rules of office conduct and communication in their employee manual. I'm sure bullying is addressed in some manner there.

It is really unfortunate that some people get off on putting others down. However, it is definitely not a nice world out there. It's like they say: you can count your true friends on one hand.